WOW! Yesterday Baby J turned 20 months, we are 4 months away from 2 years old. Time goes so fast. It has been a rough month and we have both been very ill. I can't get over whatever I have and am on my second round of meds (which have helped some) and baby J is now on more meds.
This last week we went back to the doctor again and this time the doctor diagnosed her with Reactive Airway Disease, which basically is a general diagnosis. She is now on an everyday steroid inhaler and has a rescue one of abuterall. She also went back on a liquid steroid short term medicine. FINALLY she is starting to improve. I'm a little frustrated because the doctor never seems to really check her. I'm pretty sure she actually had RSV, but her meds
are helping for now. The everyday one she will use during the winter months. I"m concerned that they already have her on this as a baby, especially since it will stunt her growth--but supposedly she will catch up later. I'm also concerned that she hasn't gained weight which the doctor has not spoken about. She is literally only 3 lbs heavier than she was at 11 months. Today she went back to check iron levels which were ok today. She has gained a pound in the last week---but she's also had more sugar than she's had the first part of her life this week. I rarely let her have sugar yet. We still have the hormone doctor visit in a couple weeks. The medicine she is on now must be helpiing some as she is sleeping a little better at night---thank goodness.In other news Baby J is doing pretty well. She is adding to her vocabulary daily and goes around copying almost everything I say. She has finally started to use words at daycare and at school with me. In fact she has been interacting with my students more and more. She climbs on everything and likes to make known what she wants. She is now talking in complete sentences and telling stories---though I can't understand most of it. Still loves to brush her 5 teeth and has gotten picky on what she will eat- though she usually eats something one day and not the next day. She is still overly attached to me and that does cause challenges, but I'm sure she will eventually blossom into an overly outgoing child. It always amazes me how nothing really scares her, but she can't tear herself away from me.
We have been out enjoying the weather some when we are both feeling up to it and have gone to the park with a friend, hit the library (we are trying to do the 1000 book challenge), and gone to the zoo. Baby J loves the zoo and we spent almost half an hour with the goats last time. She refused to leave.The biggest accomplishment this last month is that we have been working on controlling anger and outbursts. Baby J has crazy mood swings and she also can throw epic tantrums. We have been working on asking "help, please" which is usually just 'please', but she does and it has cut down on tantrums immensely. However we are now learning that saying 'please' does not alway mean you get your way which is such a hard lesson for baby girl and momma. This work has cut down on crying in the store as much which is nice. She loves to buckle the seat belt, but can't undo it. The other day she even waited to ask till I was done talking to someone. It's the little things people.
This past month has been rough as a single mom. Being sick 
myself and her being sick has presented a lot of challenges. Especially since I"m running out of days I can be off from work. I've had a few moments of being overwhelmed but we made it through. I have a great family that helps out, of course though everyone has been sick. Today someone asked me a question about if I wanted more kids. I know it's crazy to think maybe so. I always go back an forth on whether it would be nice to have another. I don't think being an only child will be such a bad thing, but at the same time i'm depriving baby J from having someone to fight and love with. I also love kids, but they are also expensive. I've had sets of two prior to this and unless they both can't walk, it's not a whole lot different with two than one. Of course I couldn't ever adopt the way I did this last time, that was costly. And it would make things tighter financially and maybe stupid as a single person, but honestly I wouldn't mind another someday. And YES i know that is totally crazy. Honestly I plan to go back into foster care, I'm just waiting a little longer before I do and considering financial items is really the only thing that would stop me from other kids, though I'm not sure that would. :-) I never intended to be a single mother or single period, but that is the way life has worked out--but I still deserve a family.
