The Wait Continues

I'm not sure which will in the end be the hardest, saying goodbye to the kids or this wait of not having any information.  The social workers have not give me any information.  I don't know when or how they are leaving or to whom.  I think it's totally unfair to me and also to the kids.   I have things I need to pack for them and they need to know it's happening before they leave or it will be the same as when they were removed from home.   I don't want them to leave thinking I didn't want them so I want to be able to discuss it with them.  This is frustrating and stressfull.  I've asked for information but they haven't given me anything.  I've chosen not to go to the court thing today since my opinion apparently doesn't matter and they have already made the decision to move the kids.  I can see how people don't want to be foster parents.  I told my social worker (whom isn't totally realiable) that I really want to move towards the adoption process.  
The kids are adorable and I am going to miss them.  Boy has really grown up in the past 4 1/2 months.  He's no longer the blank wall I used to try to talk to .  He uses complete sentences, has full conversations and recalls information very well.  He is quite polite and is a sponge for information.   Girl has started running, talks all the time, and is now in the copy everything you say phase.   She to is a sponge for information.  She loves being tickled and dancing.   They are good kids and I hope whereever they go the people taking care of them know how special the kids are.  They are smart and have so much potential.
I will miss them.

And so it Happens

Last night I got a phone call from my social worker stating that the kids would be moved to a relative in the kid's hometown.  That was all she said which totally freaked me out.  I thought maybe I did something since this move is declared right after a 3 night stay with mom and after I asked 'are we sure the baby girl isn't a drug baby'.   So I freaked otu and tryed to call her back, she didn't answer, so I did what any irrational freaked otu person would do and called the kids' social worker who also did not answer.  However after freaking out a little more I tried again.   She answered and informed me it had nothing to do with me and I was great.   I knew it was selfish of me to even ask, but I need to know if I have done an error.  This is my first foster kids.  They are moving to start the reintegration process so when the court date happens they can start moving them home faster.  I still don't understand how the mom/grandma are going to be found anything but guilty, but I guess that's not my problem or call. I just hope they actually give me a date they are leaving so I can pack and have them prepared (as well as myself)
I am happy that they are moving towards reintegration I guess---if that's what they need to do.  I'm not sure it's what's best for the kids, but that could be the small attachment I have speaking there.   I think what's hardest is knowing when they leave that's it.  It will kind of feel like the girls moving away.  I never get to talk to them anymore and it's hard (course I was around them a lot longer)  I'm actually handling it cureently very well.  I'm more troubled by the way I was told and how underhanded it was.  Maybe the next kid will be for keeps.   And I'm at least a little more prepared.