Waiting.....still waiting

I have now been waiting a week to hear from KHDE for my inspection...Actually it's been longer.   I think waiting is the hardest part.  And I have decided to ask about the little girl.  Just don't know where to start.  I really dislike the waiting.  

Flustered Thoughts

Today I found out the little girl that started me on this process is not going to her family members and she very well is up for adoption.  Now I'm not sure how to proceed or if I should proceed.   She's 9months, so selfishly I would love a little baby but there are so many unknowns with that.   I don't know.  I'm still waiting for my last inspection and for the paperwork to go through.
Tomorrow starts school with kids.  I'm not sure I'm ready for it to start.  Tonight I had so many things going through my head on the way back from rehearsal that I stressed myself out.   From school, to fostering, to rehearsals, to the musical, to all of sudden realizing a friends comments and lack of lately.   I am 100% positive that I want to go through with fostering/adopting especially since I figured out if I got a baby I'd be in my 50's when they graduate...ouch
However I have had a few...wow i'm busy- is this smart?  -  lots of teachers have kids though and I know it's the way to go.   I just need to remember to take things one day at a time and not to stress over things that will pass.   I'm sure part of it is first day nerves and they will pass after school starts.

Classes Done! More paperwork?

I have moved quite along since the last post.  My aawesome younger cousin came over and we put together the crib and changing table.  I have since finished cleaning my house thanks to my parents and sister and laws help (not that there isn't always more to do).  I still could always clean in the office room, but I have a locked door on it so it's not a problem for the inspection.   I got all the safety items up, a new door lock on the office and finished painting the 'nursery'.  
My last meeting came and we finished the first aide training and then finished the 40+ page application, which I passed the walk through part.   I was given 2 large notebooks, one with forms and one with child care regulations by TFI.   So the last step to getting the final license is a KDHE inspection - the important and much more detailed inspection.  If nothing else comes from this experience- housekeeping will improve.   I was told it could be up to a month before KDHE comes.   I'm also getting licensed to do respite care (temporary care for other people's foster kids)- though honestly I don't know if I want to do that, I don't have the beds for that.   Officially my license will be for kids 0-6, but I'm still wanting under 2 which is what my case worker put on the application and her recommendation for whomever.
After finishing all this paper work, I was handed a new huge stack of paperwork for adoption.   Thankfully I was told I did not have to redo the paperwork part that I did for the foster paperwork- which was the majority of it.   I will also have to do a home study for the adoption part.   There is so much to do.   I can see why people don't do all this.  
I also found out the little girl I was interested in that started all this is going to go to her grandmother.  I'm ok with this, maybe I'll get  a little baby.  I hope I get a little baby, but also know that it may not happen or I'll get someone older.  I know putting the age 6 will come back to bite me in the butt,  as they will give me older kids.  I guess the rest of this process is really a waiting game.   But I'm done with training and will soon have a license.   :-)
And I'm back at work now so that should be interesting.  It's making me think more, but I'll write about that in a later post.