I wish I were brave

I am at a loss anymore with these kids.  I don't know what to do.  For awhile it really seemed like we were making some huge strides, but this weekend went backwards a lot.  B is having a really hard time adjusting to two sets of household rules and G is having a hard time adjusting to B being gone.  I can't stand myself when I'm with her and they frustrate me so much.   I don't know what to do.  I know I should just have them moved and admit to failure.