Summertime!

It's Summer!!!   That is all.

Another year of teaching and I survived with children of my own most of the year.   My house is still empty currently, but I keep hoping they will call with the right child.  We'll see.  
On the really positive note, I ran into a former student who graduated a couple years ago and it was so great to see her.  And she made me remember why I teach.  She thanked me for all I did for her in high school and the opportunities that I gave her.  She even said they had helped her already.   It was nice to hear some validation for all a teacher does.   I am so glad it's summer and hope I am motivated enough to clean in the next couple days so that I can have another child around.  For now though I'm going to watch some movies.

Round 3 Completed

well it's been a few days but R & G have left my house and I am again an empty house...well minus myself and the dog and cat.   They did very welll as they were leaving but I'm afraid they really couldn't see past the visit with Mom.   They were moving on to live with a Great aunt and uncle.  Although I'm very sad to see them go, I think that for this particular set of boys a two parent family may be better if they must go back home eventually (which honestly I don't know that they will).    It's hard to say goodbye to them when I so badly want kids of my own.  Hopefully something will happen for the good.   I've been quite busy since they left last week with a family birthday, an evening as a fill in Bunco player, and shopping with my friend and her family (the new babies).
I am counting down the days till summer and am looking forward to a break from work.  Until the next kid (s) come I will work on my house and cleaning and relaxing.   I'd really like a baby.....
Also in other news I am getting a hot tub for very very very cheap from my cousin.  They are getting a newer one and I'm buying theirs.  I'm very excited and hope it works out ok.    I know it's going to cost some money but I'm hoping I can fill it and use it as a hot tub/pool.  I'm so excited about that.  I plan to do a lot of things around my house.  i will soon be very poor.   So the hot tub will be nice for a relaxation as I freak out about the poverty I am pushing myself into.   :-)

Parent Teacher Conferences

Tonight was my first experience as a parent at parent teacher conferences.  Yes it was at the daycare, but I was still the parent.  Both kids got excellent comments and both teachers gave me great compliments as well which was nice to hear after my day at work.  I've spent most of the week home with G, he's had a 101.7 fever most of the week and we visited the doctor twice.  Got some strong antibiotics and he returned back to daycare today and both returned back to visits with MOM.  
My day at work was frustrating.  I had whiney kids and today was one of those days I felt like the world was just running me over.  I know part of it is the end of the school year and the fact that the boys are leaving in a week.  Then after my day I went to get the kids and they were cranky.   I definitely saw some changes in returning from the visit today. It was like we had gone backwards to the beginning.  G was throwing his head against the floor and inconsolable crying.  R threw some tantrums as well.  
And of course MOM sent items back with them.  Frustrating.  
In other news, my own mother is getting a pacemaker put in tomorrow.  I will have missed 3 days of school this week and I'm sure my classes are feeling neglected.  Not by choice though did I miss at the beginning of the week.   I'm sure all will go well.  I was really surprised when I was on the phone tonight with my mom and saying I'm not sure if this fostering thing is going to work any longer, she said "you are a good mom"    That made my evening.
ON other bigger news, my good friend welcomed twin boys to the world today. I am so excited and hope since I will be near them tomorrow for my mom's surgery I can swing by and meet them.    I hope I can spend some time holding and loving them this summer.   They have three other brothers so I'm sure their momma will need the help.

Anger can not describe how I feel

Last night I received a call from R & G's worker stating the boys would be moved in 14 days to a family member that has come forward and passed all the background checks,etc.   Again it was a complete surprise and completely upsets me for several reasons (and just to clarify if they were going home it would be different)
First of all...just last week the Social worker said to me yes it would probably be long term and we discussed all the meetings that we had coming up for the boys.  I even discussed a trip to Colorado.   In my conversation with her I also told her I hoped they made sure mom was really ready when they do go home, because I'm not sure R would survive another move.   Not once did she say or even hint to the idea that they were looking at someone else to move them too.
Secondly...R & G have made huge strides with me and I'm not sure why they would want to break that at this point.  R is more social and is really doing well with emotions and handling things better.  We are even in the middle of potty training, which I now feel like is a waste of my time.    G is eating food finally and so close to walking.  He's happy most of the time and doesn't hit his head on the floor as much.  We have been working with the early ed here to get him on a plan with them and now all of it will go to waste.  
Thirdly why can't they be professional and let me know that they are looking at someone earlier.   It makes me feel incompatent and upsets me beyond believe.   Is there something I'm saying at the meetings with the social worker?   Is there something wrong with my house?  Did the boys say something?   I did ask if R was abused and last time this happened I asked if H was a drug baby.   Maybe I'm not really supposed to be an advocate for the kids, nothing else is like what they tell you.  
  Oh and did I mention the kids haven't even gotten to see their mom because of missed/not passed UA's.  (Drug tests)  Hey lets move the kids closer so they can't see her while they are there.   As one can tell I am very upset over this and angry.   I'm angry that she didn't tell me sooner of the possibility and that it's happening at all.   I want better information.

A rough week

This past week has been rough.  G fell sick with massive ear infections and had to be picked up from daycare two days in a row and then I kept him home for a day.  Thankfully my work is semi flexible and I am able to get a sub.  Then my mother is in the hospital for heart problems.  G and I went to visit her when I kept him home.   Hopefully she will be getting out today.   R fell on Friday and busted a tooth and had to have it pulled yesterday.  That was an experience I would prefer not to do again.   Overall he is handling it well, but the actual pulling yesterday was horrible.   We are also trying hard to potty train R and have removed the use of pullups during the day (I don't think he can tell when he is wet) and though several outfits are gone through, at least he is starting to recognize when he goes.   G yesterday stood for a few seconds at a time and I think he will be walking very soon.  He loves walking and is just working on that balance.
The bad thing is through all of this i forgot to get my car tags renewed and now they are late and the whole state is shut down for a week.  Yippee.  Got to love my life currently.   The best thing is there are only 17 more days left of school.  YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I so need a break from school/teaching.