Today I was not with Baby J. And it affected it more than I thought it would already. I left home without the numbers to call as I plan on going tomorrow to the hospital and knew there wouldn't be anything to report. This was a mistake. I wondered about her all day- thankfully got the number and called. It bothered me way more than I expected. I also had to much time to think and was around lots of people today and their families, which then of course sent me reeling into the what the heck am I doing....is this really what's best for her. don't worry after some stern words from my father and getting over that, I know that this wouldn't be happening if it wasn't meant to be. It just seems weird to think I have this little girl I'm now tied to that is in the hospital while I'm out doing other things.
The only update i have today is that they did start the steroids. Her blood gases came back not as good again today and they had to take the machine back up. However, her additional oxygen was down to 26% when I called tonight and that's the lowest it's been all week. Hopefully the steroids will kick in and help improve Baby J's lungs. Maybe I will see a little bit of improvement tomorrow when I'm there.
Oh I did order online a couple outfits for Baby J. I'm not sure when she will be able to wear clothes as she's still under the blue lights, but I thought it would be cool to have small enough clothes to someday show her the size she was. And I'm sure soon she will be able to wear something. All the clothes (a whole two outfits) are made for NICU.
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