Daycare

Ahh I feel as if I can breath.  The house is quiet, the kids are gone, the pets are sleeping.  Yesterday I got permission to take the kids to daycare.  They can go 8 hours a day for a break for me and I'm sooooo happy about it.   Today was the first day.  I just dropped them off.  Neither kid cried so that was awesome.   It probably helped that their rooms were eating breakfast and both kids were hungry.    I think this will be really good for them.  I must say I'm a big fan of daycare or at least the one I take kids to.  It's a business not a home daycare and I'm ok with that, especially for kids in the foster care that really really need structure.  I am a fan for the following
  - The staff at this place is amazing and they work with the kids and I see amazing improvement with each of them.
- Daycare helps the kids get socialized and learn boundaries outside of the home.  They learn to take turns, interact, and many skills I may miss when teaching them.    I think it helps them educationally too.  This daycare has activities planned, specific guidelines, and order of learning.   They are finding new ways to teach letters, colors, shapes, and manners.
- Daycare gives me a break or allows me to work.    I need some quiet time.  I'm not cut out to be a full time stay at home mom.  I think I'm a great mom, but not a 24/7 mom.   And being single, daycare gives the kids a chance to learn from someone other than just me.  

Hopefully this will quickly help improve both of these kids to where I don't feel like I'm getting on them constantly.  I'm trying so hard to keep them busy and to find things to praise them for so I'm not reprimanding them constantly.  I was even trying to find activities where they would have the freedom to do what they liked.  Yesterday we went to the park and as long as they stayed where I could see them, I let them go.   G took off her shoes and I didn't say anything.  So they get dirty, my tub works.   I have so much cleaning I have to do today.  Ack.

Here is a picture of the cloud dough we made and played with the other day.  It was fun and messy.

I am Struggling

Ok it's only been a few days and I'm struggling.  G is out of control.  She doesn't listen, gets into everything, and doesn't understand NO.    I can't get her to do anything and she wanders off all the time.

Our day at my friends did not go well and by the end of the day I was extremely frustrated and they were covered in mud and water.  I know my friend was frustrated also.  We did get some pictures but not many.  We tried to go to story time at their library and I had to take my two out of the place and wait outside.   G wandered off to many times and she can open doors.

We then tried the zoo yesterday and that was a disaster.  We made it through the petting zoo and saw the monkeys.  That was it.  She would wander off or refuse to stay with me.   I tried letting both kids walk and they would go in different directions.  For awhile I put G in, but the 15 month old B got tired so I switched them and that ended in the hugest and a very long screaming fit from G.   It took 15-20 min to get from one side of the elephant enclosure to the other and there weren't even any elephants to look at.   Of course everyone passing got quite a show.

Today I begged my brother to meet us at a pool.  With two people it wasn't to bad and they both love water so that helps.  I tried to buy a kiddie pool but for some reason my water outside doesn't work.  this is also frustrating.    When we are home all that the kids do is dump things, get into things and hit each other.  Neither listens and she is the worst.  I don't' know if I can do this with them.  Nothing seems to be working.  She doesn't seem to understand cause and effect, so when she is put in time out it doesn't work and talking doesn't work.  I don't know what to do.
Maybe when my case worker is back I can convince her to let me put them in daycare even though I'm not working right now.  I don't think they will.  They both need socialization with other kids and a really structured day.    And I need some time alone and to get some things done.  

I've been putting them to bed earlier because B is always tired and G drives me nuts.  She refuses to go to sleep unless I'm in the room and that takes forever so I'm not even getting a break then.  It takes for ever.  I'm so frustrated tonight.   What am I going to do for the next 7 weeks. Ack

The fist 24 hours

I can already tell these two are going to be an 'interesting' set.   They both seem to be very capable and both will eat so that's a level up from the last set.    Yesterday was interesting.   We ventured to the stores and bought some clothes.  This did not go to badly.  We met my mom for lunch and we discovered how much G will just wonder off.   She is going to be an interesting challenge.  She is very bossy, hits her brother (and adults) and just goes where she wants.  She definitely does not understand the word no and really doesn't listen very well at all.   She's also very loud in public.   Yesterday some interesting things happened.

   - We found out she wonders and started the day refusing to hold hands or really be touched much.

   - she is sort of potty trained.  She does have accidents.   However she needs to be watched or she will pull out an entire roll of toilet paper.

- She does not do well in public.  Likes to scream and be extremely loud.

- She likes babies.

-  She opens everything in the shopping cart.  She took the new zippy cups out of their package and tried to open other things.

B is also loud.   He tends to hit and I have to watch that.   He copies a lot of what sister does.   He walks and eats, but is very clumsy.    Everything goes in his mouth.

B took an instant liking to my mom and dad.   G didn't mind my mom, but isn't sure about my dad.   She practically sat on me during dinner which made it very hard to eat.    

Today we went to the store to purchase some fun activity things to take with us to my friends house this afternoon.   G opened a container of bubbles and dumped them out on the floor and all over her right in front of an employee.  So I carried most everything in my hands throughout the store, which isn't easy when you are pushing a cart with two kids who are getting into everything.

Today we are going to my friend's house so I can take pics of the twins.  It will be interesting to see how they interact with the older kids.  Hopefully they do well.  There will be 7 kids in the house with my two.  Should be interesting.

Round 4....I'm ready I think

Two things have happened since that last post.
1.  I received a letter from a collections company from a bill for the kid I took in for emergency care.   I thought it had been taken care of.  I've dealt with that all weekend.   I was very angry.   Thankfully it has been paid (I think)

2.  I have not received a response from my email yet as my Family Resource person is on vacation this week - which thankfully she at least replied to let me know that.  

3.   I took in round 4 tonight , a 15 month old boy (who is a big chunk) and a 2yr 4 month old girl.   He's a big boy and she's adorable.   B went to sleep in the crib almost immediately after getting here, while G cried when I tried to get her to go to the bed.  Though I think she will adapt quickly and well (she's already played a little), she is having a hard time going to sleep - she is on my couch.   There are to many sounds and my dumb dog won't go to sleep now.   He also had a bone and has been growling some and kind of scares G.   I hope she goes to sleep soon or tomorrow will be a very very long day or rather today.  They got here at 11:30pm.   I didn't get the call till 10pm.  

The frustrating thing is they said they called like 12 places, why didn't they call me.  I'm actually closer to where they are from than I have been to the others.

Again these kids came with very few items and so tomorrow we get to go shopping.   And I need to buy groceries.   Maybe we will go swimming.

:-)

Do They Really Know What they are doing?

I am doubting TFI's ability everyday as I get further in this process.   It's becoming frustrating and really not worth the time.   In the past two weeks I have received several calls and not one of them has worked out.  First here are some problems on my end..

• I was on vacation
•  My license says 0-6 and I really only want 0-3, though there is supposedly a note on my paperwork that says would prefer 3 and under.   I also have by now talked to every person at the intake office and said "I have a crib and a toddler bed"  And by the way I am going to change that on my license if I decide to renew.
• I am at a point I am unwilling to purchase more furniture due to cost and lack of space.

Now on my paperwork I know it should list I have one room, 0-6 age, two children, oh and I'm single.

Problems on their end.

I keep getting calls for children that should never be even called about here.  I'm also tired of them sounding so flustered that I only have a crib and toddler bed and am unwilling or unable to magically make other furniture appear.  I have received calls for:

• an autistic child that they have problems taking in to public (really you want to put this child in a single home- how am I supposed to buy groceries and um work)
• three times they have called about sibling sets that have 3 or more children that they want to keep together.
• twice they have called with a 4 and 6 year old combination
• About they 5th call into vacation they called about an emergency pair (HELLO I"M IN OUT OF STATE)  I know I'd already talked to that person once that day.
• One of the calls was about a 6yr old, I said I don't have a bed (BTW I don't have toys or clothes or a carseat or anything else for a 6yr old) and they woman said it was ok, he was actually a difficult child anyway....really....really?
• Tonight I received a call about a 1 and 5 year old, who then she (the person calling) had to go and get permission for them to stay in the same room since there is such an age gap (I actually said ok, that I'd work on getting another bed but it wouldn't happen tonight) only to receive a call back that the 1 year old was not the same sex as the 5 yr old so they would have to be in different rooms-----can they not read at TFI?

Another huge issue I have currently with TFI is that they give access to their resource homes (aka saps like me) that lists children who need placement so that we can also call about them.  I have done so 3 times now.   

• One was for a little girl and the guy said she didn't have placement and that I actually was next on the list to call and that he would put in there that I accepted.  I waited and even tried to call the person "in charge of her" to make sure that was going to happen. Not only did I never receive a call back from my message (they apparently do not return calls there so I'm not sure why they have answering machines), but I did not ever get that girl.  Oh and what little information is given on this website was incorrect on her.
• Another was for a little boy, who was actually closer than the others.  He already had a placement....Do they ever update this website...The 1st child was on there for two weeks after I called and this child is still listed. 
• Tonight I called about what I thought was a sibling pair (yes I would prefer to have one child- but there don't seem to be many that come alone).  This is what happens when you call the intake department.  Someone answers, you tell them why you are calling, they pass you off to someone else at least once if not twice to a person who is in charge of that area and if you are lucky you get a human and not their answering machine.  I am not lucky.   So I leave messages and then I never hear from them EVER.

So my question is why have this website, if it is never updated and they don't really want a person to call.   BTW there are lots of children who fall under my age level, but none of them are close to me.  I'm wondering more and more each day if TFI was the correct group to work with and if I should continue this after my license is up.   I originally got in it to adopt ( I do wish I were rich and could just adopt a newborn or that life had worked out for me not to be single), but I don't seem to be any closer to moving towards adoption.  I want a child under 1 to adopt badly, because unlike the parents whose children end up in this situation, I want to be a part of those big stepping stones (eating, walking, talking)  I think those are the best moments and I love them which is why I love working with toddlers/babies.  I am finding out that TFI does not take in many children near me and I'm sure this is a hindrance in what I'm called about.  I wonder if maybe I should look more into Youthville since they work with this area.  I'm just kind of at a loss right now and frustrated.  I love having kids in my house and don't mind most of the fostering aspect when they are here, but I don't like my life being controlled by the 'what if i have a kid or they call or...'

So my lack of children in my home is not because of lack of trying.

Of Course They call!

So I leave on vacation last Monday for a week in Colorado and just as I suspected, I received 5 calls from TFI for kids.  The first one was an obvious no because of me being single, the kid's best interest was not with me.   The others just didn't work out because I was away.  Though I am getting awful frustrated that they call me when it's a set of 3 (I can only take 2) and many of them were to old.  I really want 3 and under and they keep calling me for older kids.  
Tonight they called and I didn't have my phone.   It was for a five year old boy.  I'm not calling back.  I know my license says up to 6, but I really don't want past 3.  Honestly I just want to adopt.  I don't know that this is the right path for me.  I love the kids, hate the system.   The bad thing is there are plenty of kids that do fall in the age range I'd like.  I wish I could find the money to just adopt a baby.
Here's a pretty pic from the mountains!