Hospital days.....

I never thought I would be sitting in the position I'm in.  Sitting long days in a NICU far away from home.  During my time there- I help with the baby when allowed- which still isn't very much.  I watch some netflix, do some crocheting, research, read, and think about my lesson plans.

Because so much is going on in my life I also spend a little bit of time stressing over that- especially the house not selling.

Really the days go by pretty fast and I keep myself busy.   I miss my dogs and friends and family though some days, but usually I am ok.  Today my parents came which I appreciated, but for some reason I have ended the day in a not so great mood.

There is absolutely no reason for me to be in this mood except I decided I couldn't really afford to drive back to Wichita tomorrow for a show I had a ticket to and I'm sure my friend will be mad at me for that.   I do hate backing out of things and try not to.    Such a trivial thing and probably the first of many things that will no longer be something I can do since I am a mom now.  But it's bothering me cause I kind of feel like a new mom already and haven't had contact much with my friends lately.  And all the things going on in my life I feel today like maybe it's to much- which I know it's not but right now I'm having an overwhelming feeling.

I have everything in the world to be thankful for though.  I have a home still (even if I wish it would sell), I have a place to stay in Topeka, people have been praying for baby girl, and helping me out.   And most of all I finally have a baby and she is actually doing really well right now.  Also I have a fabulous new job coming and a fresh start.    Really I have absolutely nothing to be sad about, but there are moments, especially when I have to much time on my hands.  

Please pray for me to when you say a little prayer for Baby J that I keep my sanity.  :-)  Sorry no real updates today on her.  I left early to do laundry.   She did pull out her feeding tube again today, but had a good day and everyone is happy she is doing better.